A good friend of mine has been telling me for over a year that I couldn’t get what I wanted in my life because my hands were too full. I carried past pain (my mother’s death, my brother’s death, my father’s death). I carried past failures (not doing as well in school as I could have, not living where I thought I wanted to live, not pursuing a military career, not having children). I carried relationships that didn’t work or weren’t good for me.
I gave so much of myself; my love, my time and my money to people who didn’t appreciate, who abused privileges and who didn’t deserve or didn’t know how to fully receive what I had to offer.
I busied myself with all the things that I enJOYed. I worked six/seven day work weeks. I participated in more events than I really had time for. I joined this group and that. I was physically everywhere and mentally hardly anywhere. I found time to breathe and rest only when I was asleep.
For years I held on to so much. Some of what I carried, I held on to just so my load was so high it covered some other things. So high and managed that on the outside, people could only see what I allowed them to see. Being honest with myself, some of these things I still carry. But today, I have discovered “The art of letting go”. I’ve cried, I’ve prayed, I’ve surrendered. Today, “I Give Myself Away”. And it feels so good!